


I am not Park Jisung and You are not Zhong Chenle

by nctships



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ChenJi, Jeno i am sorry, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, NCT Dream - Freeform, NCT ships, Nomin one sided, One Sided Love, nct - Freeform, nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28089150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctships/pseuds/nctships
Summary: Jeno's thoughts.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Kudos: 18





	I am not Park Jisung and You are not Zhong Chenle

( Jeno's POV )

Na Jaemin, I hate you. 

I hate you for being effortlessly perfect. 

I hate how you take care of me, giving me all these high hopes. 

I hate you for making me fall in love with you. 

But most of all 

I hate you for falling in love with him, our best friend. 

I hate how your eyes light up the moment he comes inside the room. 

I hate how your heart beats so fast for him even when you are hugging me just cause you caught a glimpse of him. 

I hate how you cry every night over him, leaning onto me for support and as a fool, I always, always offer you my shoulder for you to cry on. 

How do you look so pretty even while crying? 

Everything you do makes me fall for you. 

But

You don't love me, well not in the way I want you to. 

I know that in the end, you would always run to him. 

In the end, you had always choose him, even if he didn't choose you. 

In the end, your heart would always love him more. 

But I am not Park Jisung. 

I cannot make you smile that bright. 

I cannot make you laugh that hard. 

I cannot make you fall for me. 

I cannot make your heart choose me. 

When you keep choosing him as your favourite member, I don't miss the way you look at him with pure adoration, maybe in another life, you had look at me in that way too. 

I don't miss the seriousness in your tone when you tell the fans that you love Jisung the most which shows how serious you are about him. 

I don't miss the way how you wake up at 3 am despite being straight up exhausted just to make him food, you wouldn't do it for anyone but Park Jisung is an exception right? 

But sadly I was born as Lee Jeno and not as Park Jisung. 

I was supposed to be the only one hurting, then why are you hurting too? 

I was supposed to be the only one stuck in an one sided love  
then why are you stuck too? 

But the only difference is...

I am suffering because of you while

You are suffering because of him. 

You are not Zhong Chenle. 

You cannot make Jisung flustered like Chenle can. 

You cannot make Jisung's heart beat that fast. 

You cannot make Jisung's heart choose you. 

You cannot make Jisung love you, well not in the way you wanted him to love you. 

I noticed your eyes stinging with tears threatening to fall from your eyes when Jisung and Chenle announced their relationship. 

I could see you on the edge of breaking down when Jisung started spending less time with you. 

I could see how you were getting tired of your this one sided love. 

If you were that tired, couldn't you just stop loving him? 

But no of course, you wouldn't stop loving him. 

He meant the world to you, even if his heart belonged to someone else. 

I knew, I knew you had wait till death for him to come to you, even if you were not sure he had ever come. 

We both could have had been perfect together, but of course, you had to fall for him. 

Now, we both are hurting. 

I would have told you about my feelings but now I don't think it's a good idea, not when you are still so in love with him. 

I will continue to be your best friend who is always there for you, listening to you sob and rant about Park Jisung. 

I love you Jaemin. 

I always had, have and will. 

And just like how you had always wait for Jisung, I had always wait for you, even when I am well aware of the fact, you won't ever come to me.


End file.
